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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The knitter and the spider

Okay, this doesn't really have much if anything to do with knitting, but I feel compelled to blog about it. This morning started out as pretty much all of my mornings do. A quick kiss and wishes for a good day to my husband, and then the dreaded climb out of my nice, comfy, warm bed to get ready to start the day. I padded barefoot through the dining room and greeted Julie with a hug, a kiss on the head, and a request that she get her things for school together while Mommy took a quick shower. All very normal so far, right? This is where the morning took a sharp detour and headed towards horror. I undressed and got in the shower. I saw a black wad of something in the bottom of the tub. My first thought was perhaps it was sock lint, and then I remembered that I was barefoot this morning when I got up so that ruled that out. Without my glasses on, it was hard to see through my sleepiness, but as the warm water hit my body and started waking me up I was more alert to what was in the shower with me. I did a double take and bent down to make sure that my worst fear was correct, and it was. It was a HUGE SPIDER. I could actually see the fuzz on it's belly and it's legs were long and thick. My hand immediately clutched my chest and I had to stifle the blood curdling scream that started in the pit of my stomach and extended through to the top of my head. I knew no one would ever believe the size of this spider if I had to rely on my description to tell of it's existence, so I grabbed a handful of kleenex, squished it just enough to satisfy myself that it was dead and threw it in the sink as I ran in horror from the bathroom wearing only the oversized U2 tee shirt that I had slept in and managed to pull over my head before making my escape from this monster that had made it's home in my tub. Julie stood in her bedroom door staring at me as if I had just escaped from a mental hospital (and one more minute in the bathroom with that spider would have put me there) It took a few seconds to calm down as I told Julie what I had found, and to my surprise....she LAUGHED. And as if that wasn't enough, she wanted to SEE it! So she took a look and said, "Cool! Can I take that to school? It looks like a tarantula!" I was a basket case by this time. What a weird girl! Here I was, a 28 year old woman who has seen a plethora of disturbing things over the course of my time as a first responder, and a mom, and I was worked into a tizzy so tight I thought I might snap right in half. I was literally shaking and it was tempting to grab my EMS radio, turn it on, and just scream at the top of my lungs into it until someone came to my aide. And here is my 8 year old daughter, not only unafraid, but in a fit of laughter over her ridiculous mother. Alas, the spider went into an envelope and I forced my husband to take it to work with him and get rid of it. I didn't even want it's dead carcass in my house or in my trash can. It just had to be gone. I didn't want to risk it's spirit haunting me or my loved ones.
After the urge to fashion a for sale sign and put in our front yard passed, I had a very nice morning.

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