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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Peace and Quiet. Why Are You So Elusive?

It's been a long week. I've been trying to stay on top of things but I've been getting behind thanks to the nice weather that keeps distracting me from things I should be doing like mopping the floors or cleaning mirrors and other finger print covered glass around the house. Sitting on my swing with a hat, sweater, or the sleeves of my ruffle cardigan is so much more attractive. I've also been a little bit stressed out lately. Nothing major that I can't handle, but just enough to make taking a nice, hot shower at the end of the day sound very appealing. Last night I got frustrated when I ran out to get diapers and when I returned home nothing had been done like I had asked. All I wanted was for my family to pitch in, give mom a minute to get away from the house for just a few moments, and pick up the laundry that was scattered in various rooms, and put away their own things that had been left out. I had a feeling my request had been forgotten because as I pulled in to the drive way, I saw my husband and daughter scrambling. The tell tale squeak of my clutch had warned them that I was home. I really need to get that fixed if I want to catch them red handed doing nothing. I walked in and saw that everything that had been laying around when I left was still laying around. I felt my pulse quicken and I took a deep breath and told myself that I wasn't going to yell at my family. I wasn't even going to say anything in fact. I would just do it myself because any good woman knows: if  you want something done right, you simply have to do it yourself. I began picking up while trying to swallow my anger and the feeling of being overwhelmed trying to be the caretaker of everyone and everything. Even the dog clings to me and will only go where he is supposed to go if mumma is within his sight. So I stopped. I said "Did you guys pick up at all like I asked?" And I heard a few muttered "Yeah"s. Now I was exasperated. If I had been left home, even with 2 kids and a clingy dog, I know I would have been able to get at least one room straightened up and vacuumed. So then I asked where they had picked up. Now they looked around and realized they had been caught. Then I was really annoyed. My family stood looking at me sheepishly and I said "So how did you do on your game on the internet? And how many times did you blast your Miranda Cosgrove CD in your room while doing absolutely nothing? Shut off the TV. Shut off the stereo and get in there and clean up that bedroom or so help me God I am coming in there with a black garbage bag and anything that's laying on the floor is going to be bagged and on the curb in about 20 seconds." Now they all dashed around and began cleaning up. I gave Daniel a bath, and tried to let my annoyance dissolve. My phone rang, and I was relieved to see that it was my mom. A good talk with Mom always helps. And it did. Mom told me to put a biore strip on my nose because pulling crud out of your pores is always liberating and calming. It worked. But I still needed to ease the tension that had been piling up in my shoulders. I told everyone I was going to take a hot shower to unwind before bed. The water and steam felt amazingly good. I felt my muscles relax and I inhaled the scent of my shampoo and began to feel more like my old self. I was so lost in my relaxation that I didn't even hear the bathroom door open. Suddenly I was assaulted from the opposite side of the shower curtain by tiny 2 year old hands. I screamed from being startled by the obnoxious "farting" noises he was making and his banging on the shower curtain. I felt like Norman Bates had just showed up and ruined my shower. Then he decided that the shower curtain was his super hero cape so he grabbed it at the bottom and ran, taking the curtain and some of the decorative hooks with him. Thankfully my husband got it away from him and all was well again. For a minute. I was rinsing conditioner out of my hair when I heard the unmistakable beat of a loud bass from a stereo. Normally I would assume it was a car outside being driven by some rude teenager borrowing Mommy and Daddy's Kia Spectra trying to sound cool to everyone he drives by, but actually being irritating instead. I sighed and shook my head. That's when it dawned on me that I had heard this beat before. It was Miranda Cosgrove. The annoying sound was coming from within my own house. All I wanted was a measly 15 minutes to bask in some hot water with my arbonne salt scrub and green apple shampoo, and it seemed like everyone was out to sabotage me! Now I couldn't help it. I SCREAMED at the top of my lungs, "JULIE! TURN THAT DOWN OR I AM GOING TO CUT THE WIRES FOR YOUR SPEAKERS. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT ANNOYING MUSIC, YOUNG LADY!" The bass stopped. All talking stopped. Movement ceased. Standing in the door way of the bathroom, freshly shampooed and conditioned in my bathrobe, everyone including the dog had stopped and was staring at me. Julie finally spoke. She said, "Chill out mom. I'll just use my headphones." Chill out, indeed.

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